Vandals & Weather (2009)
The Tale of the Vandals:
December 24th, 2009 at 8:00am:
Well it’s been 4 years so it was bound to happen…
Last night at around 3am (during a hell of a thunderstorm) some people sliced the front of our brand new 12′ Snowglobe, drug it out of the yard (breaking 3 North Poles) and down the street, and strung it into a neighbors tree (breaking part of the tree). What a mess! We thought at first that it was the storm but when we saw the slice and realized that this thing is a monster and very heavy, and nothing else had come down, we knew it was vandals.
We made a police report, and then got to work fixing the slices, because I’ll be damned if some punk kids are going to win. Three neighbors were out to help, there’s been uproar on Facebook among our friends (Rachel posted it immediately), and many people coming by expressed their anger/disappointment. They also destroyed the motor but your friend Ryan is pretty resourceful- I took the leaf blower motor and cranked it up… worked like a champ! Sounds like a 747 in the yard but my “Give A Damn” meter is pretty pegged so people will just have to deal with the noise until New Years.
The globe, strung up in the neighbors tree:
The photo below shows just how far they drug it down the street. Our house is circled waaaaay up the street:
But we got together with the neighbors and repaired it with clear Duct Tape. No way we were going to let those little vandals win.
Check out “The Scar” across the front:
December 24th, 2009 at 10:45am:
Last time we saw our hero (that’s me), he had bravely repaired his vandalized inflatable, and all was well.
But then came last night’s downpour. The rain soaked the ground, and gale-force winds—straight out of The Wizard of Oz—ripped the stakes loose.
The same 12-footer broke free, rolled across a yard full of delicate Lawn Lights (snapping both strings), and slammed full-speed into the already-wobbly gazebo and arch. The arch didn’t just shift—it broke, and 21 of the 28 connections popped loose.
So my neighbor and I scrambled to get the gazebo back up. It works. We glue the top of the arch back up. That works too. For about 2 minutes. At which point the howling, ridiculous, makes-me-feel like I live in Kansas wind picks back up. And the whole gazebo shifts to about a 55 degree angle right in front of me…
And then… it starts to collapse…
Completely…
So what did I do? Well first I took the pieces to the trash, bundled the lights, and tossed the whole mess in the garage. I took down ALL of the inflatables to keep them from getting killed in the “I can’t believe that we don’t live in the Alps with all of the G-damn wind”. I am actually shedding tears at this point, and I’m not afraid to admit it. So much work for 12 months and then this. So I take off to the airport to get Kierstin.
When I get back I rerun some extra red lights where the gazebo used to stand- to keep kids from running into the yard, because so help me God I’m going to kill someone AND their parents if that happens tonight. I need to catch a vandal or two! Then I get 1 of the 3 sets of Lawn lights on the right side working (left side still works) and test it all- everything comes on. I enable the show and eat dinner.
The Aftermath
After dinner, I step outside to check the display. A woman walks by with her snarling dog and points to the empty corner where my 12-foot globe used to be. “That thing didn’t even look like it was snowing. I’m glad it’s gone.” I politely tell her where she can stuff her opinion, and she scurries off with her gremlin-on-a-leash.
Next, a young guy approaches, excited about doing an animated display. I say that’s great, but warn him it’s a lot of work. After I mention today’s setup struggles, he scoffs, “Well, mine would stay up. I know what I’m doing.” As I resist the urge to clock him with the rebar I just found, he asks where to learn more. I glare. He leaves.
Then a little girl comes up and asks, “Where’s Santa?” I explain he’s resting for the big night and remind her it’s freezing—Santa gets cold too. I hand her a candy cane and wish her a Merry Christmas. She throws it down, yells, “I wanted Santa, not this stupid candy cane!” and stomps off. As she climbs into her parents’ car, I call out, “That’s why you’re getting nothing for Christmas, little punk!”